Cavity that leads to Melancholy

WordPress has been an ear and a shoulder to me.  I could say It was my shock absorber.  In here, I could show and tell all my dilemmas through writing at least.  My happiness, my hobbies, my passion, and even the most downfall moment I could freely utter.  It will not stop me from saying how I really feel.  It will just let me write my deep thoughts, hear my deep sighs, without any complain. Tirelessly. 

I decided to write about how I feel right now when a sudden thought of melancholy surrounded me.  I just want to blurt out this agony.  I never thought I would ever feel this way again.  It is like a gloomy day that would last for long.  If only I could just take my heart and stop it from being hurt.  I would do it.  If only I could bring back time, I will be better. I swear. I will make it right.  

No. I am not talking about betrayal or so.  I am talking about negligence.  A cavity, as define by my own perception is something you do that would separate you from your happiness.  I was so naive, was so complacent.  Little did I know, everything in this world was temporary.

This separation anxiety is killing me.  I swear I wouldn’t want to feel this ever again. But it was instantaneously appeared in my whole being. In this time of sadness, I know all I could turn to is our God.  I want to lift up everything to Him.  I never questioned Him, I never point finger to anyone, this is all my fault.  I didn’t do it the right way.  I should have had a better decision.  I should have been a better person.

I just couldn’t disclose at the moment the very detail why I am feeling so gloomy right now.  But I know for sure, that this unfavorable situations started when I dug myself to the Cavity, a decay that leads to melancholy.  A decision that ruined my happiness.

It was like a quicksand that keeps on pulling me deep down.  God has been so nice to me, He gave me so many chances.  However, I was deceived by this world’s transient pleasure.  I hope and I pray that it is not yet too late.

~Xiao

via Daily Prompt: Cavity

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