WordPress has been an ear and a shoulder to me. I could say It was my shock absorber. In here, I could show and tell all my dilemmas through writing at least. My happiness, my hobbies, my passion, and even the most downfall moment I could freely utter. It will not stop me from saying how I really feel. It will just let me write my deep thoughts, hear my deep sighs, without any complain. Tirelessly.
I decided to write about how I feel right now when a sudden thought of melancholy surrounded me. I just want to blurt out this agony. I never thought I would ever feel this way again. It is like a gloomy day that would last for long. If only I could just take my heart and stop it from being hurt. I would do it. If only I could bring back time, I will be better. I swear. I will make it right.
No. I am not talking about betrayal or so. I am talking about negligence. A cavity, as define by my own perception is something you do that would separate you from your happiness. I was so naive, was so complacent. Little did I know, everything in this world was temporary.
This separation anxiety is killing me. I swear I wouldn’t want to feel this ever again. But it was instantaneously appeared in my whole being. In this time of sadness, I know all I could turn to is our God. I want to lift up everything to Him. I never questioned Him, I never point finger to anyone, this is all my fault. I didn’t do it the right way. I should have had a better decision. I should have been a better person.
I just couldn’t disclose at the moment the very detail why I am feeling so gloomy right now. But I know for sure, that this unfavorable situations started when I dug myself to the Cavity, a decay that leads to melancholy. A decision that ruined my happiness.
It was like a quicksand that keeps on pulling me deep down. God has been so nice to me, He gave me so many chances. However, I was deceived by this world’s transient pleasure. I hope and I pray that it is not yet too late.